-Written for a flash fiction prompt challenge based on the theme of “rejection.”

The door slams shut so hard it rattles our pictures on the wall. The one taken our first Christmas in this house, two years ago now, falls to the floor. I hear the unmistakable sound of glass breaking, just like our relationship.

If only I had kept my mouth shut…

I am still sitting on our couch where you left me. We had been roommates for years, and friends for much longer. But, I had to go and want more–more from you, and more from the definition of “us”.

If only I hadn’t reached for something more…

I had prepared a whole speech about how great we’d be together. You cut me off after the second sentence. You weren’t mean, but you also weren’t kind. I wasn’t what you wanted in a life partner you said. You liked me as a friend, but could never love me. Then you told me we couldn’t even be that anymore. It would be too awkward you said. You may have been stabbing me with a dull knife, but it was a knife just the same.

If only I was what you wanted…

I can honestly say that I thought you had loved me too. Was I really that blind or just blindly optimistic? And you didn’t even give me a real reason! You clearly didn’t feel the same. But, why? I am left filling in blanks with hypotheticals. Maybe I wasn’t skinny enough or pretty enough for you. Maybe I wasn’t strong enough or fast enough. Maybe I wasn’t smart enough or kind enough.

If only I was good enough for you…

I am still sitting on our couch where I broke us. I will never be able to forget the look on your face when I told you I loved you. You pitied me. I think I would have preferred any other reaction more. I had jumped for higher ground and fell short. Now, I don’t even have my friend. I wish I could turn back time.

If only you were here…